Comments on: Birth Story: epidural to pitocin

By: kia

kia — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 17:36:04 +0000

Watching your twitter stream during your labor it was obvious you were tired and this had been a long process. Please don’t beat yourself up over your decisions, they were hard decisions to make when you were exhausted and had professionals in your face urging you to do the pit and other choices you had prepared yourself to avoid.

By: Claire

Claire — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 00:47:37 +0000

Keep writing, you’ll find it cathartic to get it all out.

And as for the shakes, I was like that for about 10 minutes after I gave birth. Never had anything like it.… I forgot about that until you mentioned it!

By: TheFeministBreeder

TheFeministBreeder — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 21:51:43 +0000

There an ICAN of DuPage meeting this Sunday in Elmhurst.
http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=154774099383

There’s also an ICAN monthly meeting a little closer to you in the South Suburbs. http://douladeb.weebly.com/cesareans-and-vbacs.html

Honestly, ICAN meetings are very warm, inviting, and offer lots of support and understanding. The best thing you can do for yourself in terms of healing is to surround yourself with people who understand what this feels like, and don’t think it’s okay.

Good luck to you. Let me know if you need to talk privately.

By: Alanna

Alanna — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 20:49:22 +0000

Emily, this story brings tears to my eyes. I am SO sorry that things did not work out as you had hoped. Thank you so much for being willing to share your story with the rest of us. You are a very strong woman, and I am proud of you for getting through this!
*hugs*

By: Nichol (faedemere)

Nichol (faedemere) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 06:17:50 +0000

I am amazed at your strength through all of this. Despite what you may feel you are most certainly not at fault. You have a right to grieve the loss of your birth and if you are sad or angry or anything over it you are well within your rights to feel that way. You will find acceptance at some point. I am sorry for the way you were treated by the doctor and nurses. I have seen this time and time again. Your story is soooo much like soooo many other women I know. I second the advice to look into going to your local ICAN chapter meetings. I think you may find healing there.
Many blessings of joy and peace to you mama. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your story via your blog and twitter.
Nichol

By: adjunctmom

adjunctmom — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:49:20 +0000

I am so sorry that this happened to you the way that it did. You need to check out ICAN. They're an amazing group and really supportive for all experiences. I had two (three, depending how you count) c-sections, and though one was an "emergency" it was not a situation where I was pressured into something. My situation involved scary high blood pressure prior to going into labor add in a couple of other risk factors and my doctor and I decided it wasn't worth chancing it. But it was a decision we made together. The second one was decided for me. I have fibroids and since the first pregnancy a new one had "appeared" in the "wrong place". My OB circled it on the screen and said, that's why we're not doing a VBAC. I'm okay with my experience because I know I would not be here if it weren't for my doctor's skill, BUT he listened to me every step of the way and fought for me on points that I couldn't get across to other doctors. I have a great OB -- I just wish every one did.

By: Future Mama

Future Mama — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 03:16:25 +0000

Thanks for being open. PLEASE don’t be angry at yourself or blame yourself! You can only move forward and you are doing a great job sharing your story now. One thing I’d appreciate, and that may help you feel better… Advice to people like me who may go through the same thing. Knowing what you know now what advice would you give me? … Please don’t say homebirth lol. No offense to people who do it but I’d rather take my chances with my OB.

By: AllisonO

AllisonO — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:18:50 +0000

O hunny, you are amazing.

Doctors and Nurses who suggest things repeatedly do have the tendency to break you down. I’m glad you’re being open about that here and hopefully it will be a help to other new mamas!

Congrats on your beautiful little one!

By: Kim

Kim — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 01:13:43 +0000

ughhh! I’m so sorry you ended up having to have a c-section
I too wanted a vaginal birth soooooo bad and ended up having a very rough c-section– the whole experience for me was excruciating and I felt wayyyyy too much!
Luckily it’s all over now and we both have beautiful babies in our arms who were totally worth all the trouble!