Unfortunately, I no longer do VBACs. I had been witness to two uterine ruptures (not mine but colleagues) and both babies died. Granted it is not 100, but I have seen two and I never want to see another one. That being said if a woman comes in who wants one I will certainly not try to talk her out of it and will refer her to one of my colleagues that do them. I also gladly share my cesarean rate. I have a cesarean rate of 27% (all cesareans) and then a primary rate of 11% and most physicians know their statistics I think it’s all about what the patients want to do, but someone earlier was talking about forcing hospitals and doctors to do things and I don’t think that is a very good option. Why would you want to go somewhere that is not supportive of your decision. Just as you guys say they can’t force you to have a cesarean you are using the same logic to force them to do your VBAC. There has o be a compromise in this situation and if there is none then maybe you can find someone who will respect your decision. The problem occurs in those small communities with no physicians that will do VBACs but there might be a hospital a few hours away. It is a pain, but I would prefer to deliver somewhere I was not making them do things, that is a bad situation for everyone

Kblogger– reading your comment made me teary eyed. You may be right… I haven’t talked about it in person with anyone other than Steve, my mom and a close friend. None of which have gone through this. I’m looking into starting an ICAN chapter in my city and am actually meeting with a woman about it this weekend (hopefully). I think that will do me a lot of good. So far I posted my story on an ICAN email list–and I think that is actually what sent some of these medical professionals here to attack me–sadly. So I am scared to write there again. You said– “find the awesome in your birth, find where you were strong and felt good..” — that part had me teary eyed because I don’t see any of that (at least not yet). But that is great advice, and I will try!!! I want to write another post soon about the great advice I’ve gotten and how I plan on making progress. Thank you so much for sharing and for your advice… I haven’t read Birthing From Within, but now I plan on going to buy it!!

2nd — to the “Good Doctor” — I agree with nursebrittney, can I come visit your hospital? It might be one I’d actually be willing to go to.

I’m impressed with your stats and the 11% rate–and even more impressed with the warnings to the doctors who have rates higher than that. I wonder what the rate is at the hospital I went to– or really, what my OBs rate is. Will they just tell me that information over the phone if I call and ask??

Also.. a few people have posted links to articles which are the ones I read and got my stats. One of them states that 3% of csections are actually necessary and that the % shouldn’t be over 10. They also cite research for the 1 in 3 women with fertility issues… again, it’s not complete infertility, just trouble getting pregnant again. And when I asked on twitter I got a response that was probably about that — 1 in 3 replies were having issues with fertility or knew someone who was following a csection. (I realize there is nothing scientific about asking on twitter and I may have more csection women following me, etc.- I’m just saying…)

It IS terrible the pressure insurance companies put on doctors to not to VBACs, etc. and I don’t know what we can do about that. It definitely puts providers between a rock and a hard place. Just as we are feared into making decisions we may not want, doctors are feared into it as well. I get that. (But not in the case of my birth…)

The Good Doctor, I’d love to meet you and talk with you. It seems you are so very willing to learn and connect with patients and wanting to do the right thing. Do you perform VBACs?

What stuck out to me most was,
“So yea, I’m a bit traumatized. People describe it as post-traumatic stress syndrome and many women go through post-partum depression because of it. So on that note, I think I’m dealing fairly well. But it’s still really hard and I still cry nearly every day about it.”

I understand the feelings of failure, of feeling perhaps you didn’t making the right choices during birth, of fretting over the what ifs. I think with most births, particularly those that didn’t “go as planned” (remembering that birth can’t ever really be a planned event), leave women with a sense of “what happened?”. I understand crying out of disappointment or loss of what you’d had hoped would be the way things would go. I’m nearly 6 years out from my first c-section. I found myself unexpectedly in tears about it just a few short months ago. I get it.

But what concerns me is that 2.5 months out from your c-section, you’re still crying about it nearly every day. It sounds like you don’t believe you have PPD, but if you’re crying every day about your birth, you may need to reevaluate that. Have you talked face to face (not twitter or blog) to a counsellor about your birth feelings? Perhaps someone from ICAN?

The mind is extremely powerful; it controls the body. If you internalize your anger & disappointment over your birth, worry over fears of potential future births/pregnancy issues, you could potentially put yourself in a place where you will have issues with fertility & future births because you’re so frightened and angry over it. Finding peace with your birth is so important, so you can feel safe and comfortable and can go forward. You can arm yourself with knowledge, surround yourself with supportive birth partners, handpick your birth place, make your needs and desires and requirements know, empower yourself. But to do that, you have to get beyond guilt/disappointment/anger.

ALL births are amazing. Every one. Find the awesome in your birth. Find where you were strong, and felt good, take that & build on it for your future VBAC.

Have you read Birthing From Within? This book helped me SO MUCH in the healing process from my first C-section & to prepare for my VBAC.