…you’re searching for toys on craigslist, you find the exact same dollhouse for sale that you played with as a kid, and the seller has it marked as VINTAGE!!!!! seriously?!?!?! I’m vintage?!

I get the email updates from Parents Connect and I just had to share with you what the intro to the email today said:

Look at you! Ditching the yoga pants for jeans. Showering almost every day. And finally able to touch your boobs and wipe without wincing. Next thing you know you’ll be wearing makeup, cleaning the house and having sex three times a week (OK, twice a month. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves!)

Hahaha, SO TRUE! I love it. Life sure is completely different, but I’m feeling good (…today. Ask me again tomorrow.)

I’ve been thinking about this for awhile… I wrote a post on my Baby Brain and was told it’s called Momnesia… I love that term, it’s perfect! I seriously can’t remember anything anymore, including how to spell. Yesterday I went to get my bowl from the microwave and opened the pantry door instead. More than once I’ve tried to put cereal in the refrigerator and milk in the cupboard.

I’ve decided this is what I used my brain for before baby:

That seems pretty accurate, right? Well… this is the mush it has turned into:

This was in my weekly email from babycenter.com and it made me laugh:

Let’s Pretend.…

• At your baby shower, pretend you understand how the diaper disposal system works.
• When installing your car seat, pretend your partner doesn’t seem like an extra from The Planet of the Apes.
• Pretend it was the dog who farted.
• Pretend that onion rings are part of the “best-baby” diet.
• Pretend your prenatal vitamin is buried at the bottom of the ice cream container.

I love them all! Here are my own: Let’s also pretend…

*Hip pain means an EASY labor
*Gaining 2 lb a week instead of the suggested 1 lb means my baby is extra healthy
*My friends nicknamed the baby “Bacon” but they won’t actually call him that
*These last 8 weeks will FLY by
*I waddle for fun… it’s the preggo’s way of shakin that ass
*Changing diapers, picking boogers and cleaning pee off the wall is FUN!

Anything to add???

This recently came in an email from babycenter.com .… sooo true and hilarious.

If only you’d known you were going to trade…
• Monthly PMS for nine months of weeping
• Lacy thongs for cotton tents
• Sex for gas
• Zinfandel for Ovaltine
• Birth control for laxatives
• Going to the gym for getting up to pee
• Your waist for a hot-air balloon
• Kickboxing for kick counts
• Your innie for an outie — a way-outie
• Sleeping for groaning
• Freedom for the most intense love you’ve ever known

The other night I woke up and my DH was laughing. He told me that I now make so much noise when I’m sleeping, it scares him (but apparently causes him to laugh too). Haha.  - I won’t comment on the rest of the points up there, but really, they’re true.

sooooo true. i’m exhaused all the time (but never too much to eat ice cream)!

Some jokes, contributed by Grandpa Dickey

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move ?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college

Q: Does pregnancy affect a woman’s memory ?
A: Most of the ladies I asked don’t remember
Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy ?
A: Yes, your bladder
Q: Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving ?
A: Depends on what your doing with them
Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question ?
Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy ?
A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder
Q: How do I know if my baby has dropped ?
A: He/She will start crying. Be more careful !
Q: How long is the average woman in labor ?
A: Whatever she says, divided by two
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right ?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural ?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant
Q: Is there a reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor ?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” is a concern for you
Q: I’m modest. Once I start to deliver, who will see me in that delicate position ?
A: Authorized hospital personnel only — doctors, nurses, orderlies, photographers, florists, cleaning crews, journalists, etc.

Q: What does it mean when the baby’s head is crowning ?
A: It means you feel as thought not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make it’s way out of you
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth ?
A: Yes, pregnancy
Q: Does labor cause hemorrhoids ?

A: Labor causes anything you want to blame it for
Q: When should a baby not be circumcised ?
A: When it’s a girl.
Q: Where is the best place to store breast milk ?
A: In your breasts
Q: Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps ?
A: Yes, baby lips
Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth ?
A: It means that the baby’s mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse
Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing ?
A: When you see teeth marks
Q: What is the grasp reflex ?
A: The reaction of new father’s when he sees new mother’s breasts.
Q: Can a mother get pregnant while nursing ?
A: Yes, but it’s much easier if she removes the baby from her breast and puts him to sleep first.
Q: What happens to disposable diapers after they’re thrown away ?
A: They are stored in a silo in the Midwest, in case of global chemical warfare.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower ?
A: Not if your change the baby’s diaper very quickly
Q: What is colic ?
A: A reminder for new parents to use birth control
Q: What are night terrors ?
A: Frightening episodes in which the new mother dreams she’s pregnant again
Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born ?
A: No, but your husband will most likely get on your nerves
Q: What are the terrible twos ?
A: Your breasts after baby stops nursing cold turkey
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to act normal ?
A: Possibly when the kids are in college

All along I have thought this baby was a boy. After hearing the heartbeat, I was convinced… even the Chinese Calendar and multiple facebook quizzes said “boy.”

Steve has always thought this baby is a girl.

Over the weekend, I read in my bible (What to Expect When You’re Expecting) a few interesting points about determining the sex.

*It’s more likely to be a BOY if you find yourself eating like a teenage boy = constant trips to the kitchen.

*It’s more likely to be a GIRL if you find yourself to be very forgetful; extreme “pregnancy brain.”

Based on these two points, I now think it’s a girl. I don’t eat a lot (probably not enough, even) and I forget the simplest of things. I forget how to spell easy words, I forget what I was about to do, I forget the right word to describe something. It’s embarrassing, really. But it gives Steve something to laugh about

The poll hasn’t had much activity lately so I’m taking it down (check for a new one!).. here are the results of what YOU think the baby is!

53% (18 votes) : BOY
35% (12 votes) : GIRL
12% (4 votes) : TWINS

I think it’s safe to say that those who voted twin already lose. Sorry.

And when will we find out?? I just made my appointment for my ultrasound!!! I’ll have one more appointment (check-up) here in Iowa on July 6th and then my ultrasound will be in Rockford on July 27th!!! 9am. We’re moving home that previous weekend with the U-Haul so I guess Steve will need to take Monday off work so he can be with me when we find out what it is!! Ahhhhhhhhh I can hardly wait!!!

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I’m heading home this weekend (on Thursday) for Joanna’s bridal shower on Friday and her bachelorette party Saturday-Sunday. This includes a trip to Chicago, pole dancing lessons, limo and bars well into the night. Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be at least one picture taken of preggo on a pole. (Congrats to Joanna! Wedding June 27th!)

And thank goodness I got that book of

Keep Reading Party Time!

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I’m heading home this weekend (on Thursday) for Joanna’s bridal shower on Friday and her bachelorette party Saturday-Sunday. This includes a trip to Chicago, pole dancing lessons, limo and bars well into the night. Don’t worry, I’m sure there will be at least one picture taken of preggo on a pole. (Congrats to Joanna! Wedding June 27th!)

And thank goodness I got that book of Pregnancy Tips from Jacalyn to remind me how to behave this weekend:

You may also enjoy:

• Something Fun!
• Week 15
• One Year Anniversary

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